Accepting Student Differences
Showing Compassion for Kids’ Circumstances
Showing sensitivity to students' unique situations is a must for all youth workers. Avoid these common mistakes.
A new school year often brings a whole new group of students for educators to work with. It can take a while to get to know each student and their circumstances. In the meanwhile, steer clear of these common traps in communication that can humiliate kids, make you feel terrible, and put up roadblocks to developing a positive relationship.
Don’t make assumptions about a student’s family. Many kids come from less than traditional home situations. Presuming that every student has two biological parents at home is unrealistic as well as disrespectful. A student whose father may have recently left the family probably doesn’t want to explain why his dad isn’t around when you ask, “Is your dad coming to Back to School Night?” Likewise, statements such as “Take this home for your mom to sign,” can also cause unnecessary pain for a child who may have lost their mother. Additionally, assumptions can put kids on the defensive, or make them feel like they have to explain themselves. If you aren’t sure about the circumstances, make your comments generic. If you need more information about a student’s home life, a way to find out without making anyone feel uncomfortable is a simple, “Who lives with you in your house?”
Don’t make assumptions about a student’s financial situation. This is a tricky one. Unfortunately, not all students’ families have the wherewithal to provide them with school supplies, adequate clothing, or lunches. But it can be tricky to offer help with such a sensitive subject. Applications for free or reduced lunch can be handed out to all students, to alleviate the likelihood of anyone feeling singled out. Likewise, if your school has services to provide clothing and supplies to needy students, find ways to do it discreetly, without the other kids or parents knowing. No one likes to feel like a charity case. And be sensitive to financial situations when assigning projects or handing out supply lists: some kids may not have a way to obtain these items.
Don’t make assumptions about a student’s academic skills. Opinions of former teachers can be somewhat subjective. Plus, kids’ motivation levels increase as they mature. Treating a student as if they are destined for trouble is setting them up for failure. An expectation of perfection isn’t much fun, either. By all means, get as much info as you can about a child’s academic history. Just don’t let it be written in stone. Also, don’t compare kids to older siblings, either for the better or for the worse. They’re probably sick of hearing how bad or how great their older brother was anyway. Plus, it’s just plain rude.
When you take kids as they are without any pre-conceived ideas, you show them respect, understanding, and acceptance. They deserve nothing less.
